And so are a lot of the people I know. Posted on February 1st, 2008. I was sitting here at my desk today when I got a forward from a co-worker. Usually I'm not one for forwards unless they depict some dumbass trying out something new on his bicycle and he ends up maiming half of his face, or someone trying to be slick and hit someone with a car-door, instead to be slapped in the face with a bit of karma and falls out of the car, slamming his face into a parked car. But this one made sense to me, and I related to it on many levels. If you're a "bad" American too, you will agree with almost all of what this following list of criteria lays out. Follow along. George Carlin is a very smart and witty guy with views on the nation like no other entertainer has ever had the balls to deploy to their audience. Am I a bad American? Yes, I'm a bad American! by: George Carlin I am your worst nightmare. I am a bad American. I am George Carlin. I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family...not some mid-level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican. I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way. I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer...it makes you a smart American. I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized and does not entitle you to anything. I believe that if you are selling me a big mac you need to do it in English. I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to. I don't have the rich. I don't pity the poor. I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it. I've never owned a slave, or was a slave. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you. So shut up already. I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country. I want to know which church it is exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them. I also think they have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law...regardless of what color you are. And no, I don't mind having my face shown on my driver's license, I think it's good. And I'm proud that God is written on my money. I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years. I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cases. I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child. It takes two parents--REGARDLESS of whether it's male and male, female and female, or male and female. And what is going on with gas prices...Again? I believe "illegal" is illegal no matter what the lawyers think. I believe the American flag should be the only flag allowed in AMERICA. Feel free to post this in your personal blogs if you agree with whatever part of this text flows with your life and views on our country. 554 people are also bad Americans. Back to the homepage.